Parenting

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about grandfather," said the son. I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather's direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.

For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day that building blocks are being laid for the child's future.

Let us all be wise builders and role models. Take care of yourself, ... and those you love, ... today, and everyday!

1. Prepare your children for the online world just as you would for the real world.
Establish guidelines and rules.
Know who communicates with your children.

2. Learn about the Internet.
Familiarize yourself with the programs your children are using.
Consider using Internet filters or blocks.

3. Place the family’s computer in a common room where supervision and guidelines are met.

4. Limiting your children’s computer time is not enough to safeguard them on the Internet.
Talking about the benefits and dangers on the Internet and making sure your children are making smart decisions while online is also important.

5. Explain to your children that Instant Messenger (IM) is only for chatting with school and family friends who they know by face and are approved by you.
Make sure they can put a face to every screen name on their IM "buddy list.”

6. 65% of incidents happen in chatrooms.
Reinforce that people are not always who they say they are when online.
Make sure your children know how dangerous it is to give out personal information such as their name, mailing address or E-mail address.
Stress the fact that it is not safe to get together with someone they first "meet” online.

Learn how to keep your children safer online with NetSmartz.org
http://www.netsmartz.org/

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
http://www.cybertipline.com/

"I'll lend you for a while a child of mine," He said.
"For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief."

"I cannot promise he will stay; since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over in My search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love, not think the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call to take him back again?"

"I fancied that I heard them say, "Dear Lord, Thy will be done!
For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay;
But should the angels call for him much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand!"

Edgar Guest

A mother's love is special
A love beyond compare
It's patient and forgiving,
Non-judgemental, always fair.

Tender warm and caring,
As no other love could be,
It sparkles like a diamond
For all the world to see.

At the start of all creation,
God made a love of gold,
He placed it in a mother's heart
Its beauty to behold.

Copyright Marian Jones 2002

Hands that rocked the cradle
From the moment of my birth,
Their tender touch remembered
By those still on this earth.

Soft as silk those hands
That taught me how to pray,
Banishing childhood fears;
They soothed each one away.

When I grew much older
And troubles came my way,
Those hands caressing mine
Did more than words could say.

Mother's hands were gentle,
They're missed so very much,
I'd give the world to feel once more
Their warm and tender touch.

Those hands were full of comfort
Now they lie at rest,
But memory holds them close
To the ones they served the best.

2002 Marian Jones

Our 13 year old son has a rare genetic liver disease. I want to take this moment to thank our doctors, friends, family and loved ones for their support over the years. He is in wonderful health and preparing for his bat mitzvah. Our hearts go out to all families, particularly those whose children have medical issues. Every day with our children is a blessing, and for whatever reason, I feel these children have chosen to come into our families. Holiday greetings, thanks and best wishes for a healthy year.

drstrategy

For Mothers
(Author Unknown)

A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school,
another mother I knew well rushed up to me. Emily was fuming with
indignation. "Do you know what you and I are?" she demanded. Before I
could answer, and I didn't really have one handy, she blurted out the
reason for her question. It seemed she had just returned from
renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office. Asked by
the woman clerk to state her occupation. Emily had hesitated,
uncertain how to classify herself. What I mean is, "explained the
recorder, "Do you have a job, or are you just a .....?"
Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a mother."
"We don't list 'mother' as an occupation...'housewife' covers it,"
said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same
situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The clerk was obviously a
career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding
title like official Interrogator or Town Registrar.
And what is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm
a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human
Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as
though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly,
emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as
my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the
official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in
your field??
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself
reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't)
in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said
indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have
four credits (all daughters)." "Of course, the job is one of the most
demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I
often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more
challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are in
satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I
was greeted by my lab assistants -ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could
hear our new experimental model (6 months) in the child-development
program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt triumphant! I had
scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records
as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just
another mother."

Motherhood...what a glorious career. Especially when there's a title
on the door.

Whether a stay at home Mom or a career Mom, we should all carry this
title.

The 20 Wisest Things Our Mothers Taught Us - by Nancy Evans

Our mothers are our earliest teachers. And often -- at least regarding some things -- they are our best teachers. Here, the women of iVillage share the words of wisdom their mothers handed down to them. And not surprisingly, a good number of them report that they're passing the same lessons down to their own children.
Thank your mother for the wisdom she's imparted to you over the years -- and share this special Real Solutions!

About Life
1. "'You aren't getting anything done just sitting there.' This is what I am now telling my teens! It applies to everything. You want something? You've got to get up and go get it -- a job, success, a glass of soda, whatever -- take charge and just do it!"
2. "'Appreciate all the blessings that you receive in life, and don't bemoan the things you can't have. Focus instead on things you have influence in.' Despite all the challenges and sorrows that have come my way I don't despair. I celebrate all that life has to offer and continue to grow and learn."
3. "My mother always told me that the one thing I should do was get an education. She said: 'Almost anyone can take just about everything away from you -- but your education, once you have it, no one can take it away from you.'"
About Men
4. "'If a guy really wants to talk to you, he'll call.' This advice stopped me from spending a lifetime waiting for the guy to call back."
5. "'You can't change someone who doesn't want to change.' When I started dating, I kept that in mind with every new boyfriend. If he wasn't the guy I wanted, I got out of the relationship instead of trying to change him. Because of this, my husband is all the things I wanted in a man. My mom's advice helped me find the man of my dreams!"
6. "'Never count on a man being around forever.' This is kind of one-sided, but I learned from my mom that I should always be able to take care of myself. Although I love having a man, I can do just fine without him. I am my own person and independent."
7. "'If you settle for less that's all you're going to get.' I will always remember my mother's words, and will not settle for a man who does not deserve my love."
8. "'Don't marry the man you can live with - marry the man you can't live without.' "
About Marriage
9. "'Don't sweat the small stuff in your marriage. Respect one another and express your respect daily. Pick your battles by level of importance to you.' All of this advice stopped me from setting up a pattern that sounds -- and feels -- suspiciously like nagging.
10. "'When you marry, you marry the whole family.' The two times I married I did not heed her advice, and I am so regretful. I truly believe that having a healthy extended family makes a huge difference in a person's life! I talk to my children about this often and hope they learn from my mistake.
11. "'Never shine your boyfriend or husband's shoes.' As a teen, I thought it was one of those meaningless old sayings, but in 27 years of marriage, I have discovered that her real message did get through to me. It is about being a real person in your own right, being a partner but not a servant. It has enabled me to keep a sense of myself and a certain amount of dignity in difficult times and I am sure it has helped make my marriage successful."
About the Kitchen
12. "'Always organize yourself before any big occasion.' Make a written menu, shopping lists and a time schedule for getting things done and tick off each thing as you do it. Plan serving dishes and utensils, refrigerator space and how you will manage the oven and stove. That way all the food is prepared on time, nothing is ruined from keeping it warm too long, and you won't feel rushed."
13. "'If you ever want to know what's going on in your daughter's life, make stuffed grape leaves.' They take a long time to roll and it gives you all the time you could ever need to chatter about anything! This is also why we weren't allowed to learn how to roll them until we were 11 or 12. That's the age when we stopped talking as much to our mother. My daughter and I just rolled grape leaves together a few weeks ago; we had a great talk!"
About Looking Our Best
14. "'Wash your face every morning and every night.' I have never deviated from that bit of advice, ever! She also was always after us not to frown -- and, boy, I'm glad she did because I see so many women with frown lines between their eyes and on their foreheads!"
15. "'Makeup should enhance what you already have; learning to play up your best features is always more appealing than trying to plaster on a look that's just not you.' Less really is more! Also, my mom always said that your hair should frame your face, not shield it! (Remember the late 60's and early 70's!)."
16. "'Stay out of the sun.' I am 56 but look 42-ish -- not a wrinkle present on my face!"
About Being a Mother
17. "'I am the best advocate for my children.' She taught me to not to be afraid to speak up for what they need."
18. "'If you let baby cry for a couple of minutes while you take care of your first child, the baby won't remember waiting.' My mother told me this the day I brought my newborn daughter home and introduced her to my older daughter. If I always responded to the baby first, she explained, the oldest would resent it."
19. "'Make hay while the sun shines.' What she meant by that was, 'get things done while the baby sleeps or is otherwise content.' Words of wisdom such as these can be very helpful when you are a new parent and everything is turning your world upside down. To this day, during my daughter's naptime, I have my seven-year-old son take 'quiet time,' too, so I can 'make hay while the sun shines.'"
20. "'Always provide unconditional love for your children, no matter what the situation. Even if they seem to have turned against you and say mean things, remember that a mother's love is eternal, and one day they will come back to you with the same love you have given them throughout their lives, and that love will be given to their children as well.'"

One day a father and his rich family took his young
son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose
of showing him how poor people can be. They spent a
day and a night in the farm of a very poor family.
When they returned from their trip, the father asked
his son, "How was the trip?"
"Very good, Dad!"
"Did you see how poor some people are?" the father
asked.
"Yeah!"
"And what did you learn?"

The son answered: "I saw that we have a dog at home,
and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the
middle of the garden, while they have a creek that has
no end. We have imported lamps in the garden, and they
have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard,
they have a whole horizon."
When the little boy finished, his father was speechless.
His son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor
we are!"
Isn'it it true that it all depends on the way you look
at things? If you have love, friends, family, health,
good humor and a positive attitude toward life, you;ve
got everything!
You can't buy any of these things. You can have all the
material possessions you can imagine, provisions for
the future, etc., but if you are poor of spirit, you
have nothing!

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about.
"My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about.
"My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!" My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
?"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY:
There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
THANKS, MOM!
Author Unknown